“You are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband." ~1 Peter 3:2 (AMP)

EDITOR’S NOTE:

Originally published on February 20, 2015 in Excellence for Every Day and also featured as a guest article in Write By Grace, this post reminds us of the tremendous value in treating our husbands with honor and respect. When we nurture our marriages according to the Word of God, we will reap Heaven on earth in our relationships every single time!

Enjoy! -Mica

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With the remains of Valentine’s Day hanging in the air, most of us are still reflecting on the importance of love, romance, and marriage. Some of us might have celebrated the holiday with our husbands by candlelight or with flowers and candy. Others might have gone out to a fancy restaurant or just stayed home watching movies and enjoying time together. Regardless of how we observed Valentine’s Day, most of us took time out of our busy schedules to reaffirm our spouse, to appreciate his presence in our lives, and to celebrate the gift of our love.

Although Valentine’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to rekindle a little romance, it shouldn’t be the only day of the year we endeavor to make our spouses feel special. In fact—as we married women know very well—in order for our marriages to thrive, we must celebrate our husband and our marriage commitment every single day of the year. It takes daily practice, daily devotion, and daily care to nurture and nourish a strong, healthy marriage all throughout our lives.

*Shop This! Mr. & Mrs. Plate & Fork Set (Photo Credit: DaySpring)*

While there are a variety of ways in which we women show love to our husbands, nothing spells love better to our men than R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Flowers, chocolate, gifts, and dates may mean the world to us, but respect is the greatest gift we can give our husbands. A man can live without romance, but he will die without respect.

As a newlywed, I am still learning and growing more and more in my role as a wife, but one thing I have learned in almost three years of marriage is that my husband thrives when I respect him. Sometimes this respect is heard in the small words of encouragement I speak to him; other times it can be demonstrated in the control of my tongue. In both trivial matters and important ones, I’ve learned that if I want to water the garden of my marriage, I must sow sweet little seeds of respect into the heart of my beloved.

Although respect can be communicated a thousand different ways, I have discovered a few important ones that have empowered my husband and nurtured our marriage. I trust these five tips for communicating respect to your spouse will also help you speak the language of respect more fluently in your home.

*One of the happiest days of my life…our wedding day! / Photo Credit: Laura Vogt Photography*

1) SPEAK TO HIS POTENTIAL

Our husbands are not perfect, and they are in the process of growing just like we are. While they are not yet who they will be, they need us to speak to the potential that lies within them.

Instead of seeing our husband as who he is in the present, we should look at him through the eyes of faith. Speaking words of encouragement breathes life into his dreams and calls out the gifts God has placed inside his heart. This is perhaps one of the most powerful capacities we have as wives and helpmates, and one of the greatest tools of respect we have at our disposal!

Speaking words of encouragement breathes life into your husband’s dreams and calls out the gifts God has placed inside his heart.

2) ALLOW HIM TO LEAD

For those of us who are a bit more strong-willed, allowing our husbands to take the lead can be a little more challenging than we might admit. However, nothing shows respect more to the man God gave us than allowing him to step up while we step back.

By no means are we to crawl into a shell of weakness and immobility. In fact, we are to use our gifts and embrace the strength of our identity. But when our husbands are praised, we must not let self-pity grip our hearts.

Instead of seeking attention for ourselves, we need to learn to bask in the glow of our husband’s accomplishments. As we cultivate a meek spirit, we’ll learn that life isn’t all about us. Sometimes—and especially in certain seasons—life is about what God is doing in our husbands for the good of our marriage. A woman who has learned this secret has communicated respect to her husband in an extremely powerful way.

*Shop This! Mr. & Mrs. Mug and Journal Set (Photo Credit: DaySpring)*

3) SHOW HIM YOU CARE

Expressing care and tenderness to our husband is vital not only to the overall vitality of the marriage, but also to the health of our husband’s heart. Our loving care can be communicated in small, daily choices or in the grander moments of life. When we buy his favorite snack at the grocery store or drive with him across the state in the middle of the night to visit his father in the hospital, we are communicating tenderness and care to our beloved. And to him, that speaks volumes of respect.

4) ASK FOR HIS ADVICE

In this day and age, while society expects women to make decisions on their own, a respectful wife will ask for husband’s input in both insignificant and crucial matters alike. Even if she may not always agree with his opinion or follow his advice, the fact that she asked for his two cents is always appreciated. His heart will swell upon knowing he’s a part of her life and she values his thoughts and perspective. To him, asking for his knowledge or advice spells respect.

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5) PRAY FOR HIM

When a man is faced with a problem, whether at work, with his peers, or in his heart, he is most comforted when he knows his woman is standing with him in prayer. Instead of dominating him with instructions or nagging him with advice, a woman who learns to lift up her husband while on her knees is the most powerful, effective, transforming force in a marriage.

Instead of dominating him with instructions or nagging him with advice, a woman who learns to lift up her husband while on her knees is the most powerful, effective, transforming force in a marriage.

If emotions are on edge, prayer can diffuse strife, provide answers, soften hearts, and bring supernatural wisdom into any situation. And a woman who knows how to go into her prayer closet instead of offering a tongue lashing is not only a woman who displays respect, but a woman who demonstrates great wisdom and is worthy of honor!

While the commercial holiday of hearts and romance may only come around once a year, a marriage full of love and respect will flourish every day throughout a lifetime. As we become more fluent in the language of respect, we will see our husbands glow and blossom in the light of our love!

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If you’ve enjoyed this article, I’d love to hear from you! Email your comments to mica@micaolinghouse.co.

Also, if you need prayer or would like to receive a Bible free of charge, please let me know. Our ministry, New Life Metro Ministries International, would love to pray for you and send you a Bible!

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