What to Do While Waiting: A Valentine’s Day Special for Singles
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” ~Jeremiah 31:3 (ESV)
EDITOR’S NOTE:
As a former single who spent more than a decade celebrating Valentine’s Day without a significant other, I know how difficult this holiday can be for those who feel that sharp twinge of loneliness on this particular holiday. But I want to encourage you to take heart! God hasn’t forgotten you, and He’s faithful to bring the right one to you in due time. This article was originally published in the Word Life Blog on February 19, 2015.
Enjoy! -Mica
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It’s that time of year again…the week when pink and red adorn every home décor aisle, candy hearts spell out little love messages, and roses and chocolates are on everyone’s wish list. For those of us who are married, this is a beautiful opportunity to rekindle the romance in our marriage and enjoy an extra date night or two with our beloved. On the other hand, this can be a rather painful week for those who are watching Valentine’s Day go by one more year without any significant attachments.
For those of you who are dreading this day of hearts, I’d like to commiserate with you for just a moment. By no means, am I loathing the over-commercialization of this sappy holiday; in fact, I rather enjoy the special celebration with my sweet husband. But there was a time in my life not so long ago that I was in your shoes. Valentine’s Day after Valentine’s Day passed…and I had no romantic prospects, no committed relationships, no spouse…year after year…for 32 years.
Before I met my husband, I dated very little during my twenties and early thirties. As one of those purpose-driven single gals, I kept my eyes focused on developing my career, serving God, and ministering to others. However, even in the midst of all those times of laser-focus, I endured the same loneliness, questions, and awkwardness that most singles experience around Valentine’s Day.
Sometime around my late twenties, I began to develop a Valentine’s Day coping strategy that incorporated a dash of faith, hope, and love into my single holiday. As I learned to keep a right perspective, my blues no longer threatened to overpower the happy hues of pink and red. Instead, I learned to prosper in my season and rejoice for what was to come.
If you’re single and are struggling with your relationship status this week, I encourage you to assimilate these five guidelines into your Valentine’s Day celebrations. Hearts, rings, and love songs may be surrounding everyone else in your world, but you don’t have to feel left out. If you’ll maintain the right attitude, you’ll be waking up on the 14th with a smile on your face…and hope in your heart.
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GET SOME PERSPECTIVE
Let’s face it—Valentine’s Day is a ridiculously over-commercialized holiday in the US. While cards and commercials laude the sappiness of lovers, this holiday doesn’t tell the whole story that goes behind successful relationships.
While most of us who are married do receive cards and roses from our spouses, we also work on our marriages all throughout the year. We diligently strive to serve one another with selfless love—which sometimes means enduring his loud snoring or her persistent tardiness. We work constantly at being better communicators, we manage our household, raise children, balance the checkbooks, and pay mortgage. We work on building our dreams together—which sometimes means one of us may have to step back to allow the other to pursue his or her dream. We have disagreements, times of laughter, times of tears, big decisions, and little daily choices…all of these real-life moments come together to make marriage what it really is.
So if you’re depressed by all the seemingly happy couples out there, don’t be fooled. It takes a LOT of selfless work to create a deeply rewarding relationship.
Valentine’s Day is about valuing people…and the treasure of love they’ve deposited into your heart.
CELEBRATE THE RELATIONSHIPS YOU DO HAVE
Although Valentine’s is a celebration of romantic love, it is a toast to all kinds of love, whether it’s in the realm of family, friends, communities, or church. Sure, Prince Charming or Mrs. Right may not be on the scene right now, but I’m pretty sure you have important people already present in your life.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity, take this time to celebrate those you love. Call up your parents, send flowers to your grandparents, take your friends out to dinner. All year-long, you’ve invested in a wide variety of relationships; now is the time to let these people know how much you appreciate their wisdom, their love, their time, and their friendship. Valentine’s Day is about valuing people…and the treasure of love they’ve deposited into your heart.
DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE ELSE
Instead of wishing for some secret admirer to give you a dozen roses, why not try doing something special for someone else this year? Valentine’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to serve others in unexpected ways.
I began this tradition of doing something unexpected for someone several years ago and have maintained this habit almost every year since. I brought donuts to work for classmates, bought flowers for my widowed grandmother, and baked cookies for friends. In fact, my husband and I still continue this tradition to this day--we've dropped off cookies for our assistant pastors and baked cupcakes for some adopted college students. Although these gestures have been small, they’ve been little acts of kindness that convey care and warmth to others in our lives.
HAVE A DATE DAY WITH GOD
When I was single, this was perhaps one of my favorite personal adventures with God. I would begin by taking my Bible, my journal, and my iPod with me to some random coffee shop in town. While I sipped on my usual vanilla latte, I would spend a few hours studying my Bible, listening to some acoustic worship, and writing down God’s promises to me. Although I was alone, those moments of sweet intimacy with the Lord were treasured moments that built up faith in me regarding God’s plan for my life.
During this week, I encourage you to carve out some special alone time with God – you can go for a drive, hang out a coffee shop, or sit on a park bench. Whatever scenario you choose, take your Bible and a notebook with you. Spend some time praying, worshipping, and loving on your Heavenly Father. Then talk to Him about your dreams and your hopes…and let Him speak to you of His plans FOR you!
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BELIEVE GOD FOR YOUR SPOUSE
Towards the end of my single years, I began changing the name of Valentine’s Day to “Annual Faith Day for Singles.” I was quickly approaching my 30s and becoming even more aggressive in my faith for a spouse. I realized I couldn’t bring the right person into my life, but God sure could! So instead of lamenting my marital status (or rather lack thereof), I began to boldly declare that God was bringing my future spouse to me in His perfect time in His perfect way. And guess what? God brought the man of my dreams into my life in the most spectacular way!
Instead of lamenting my marital status (or rather lack thereof), I began to boldly declare that God was bringing my future spouse to me in His perfect time in His perfect way. And guess what? God brought the man of my dreams into my life in the most spectacular way!
If the desire of your heart is to one day be married, I encourage you to hang on to that dream. Trust God with your heart, pray for your future spouse, and rejoice that God is answering your prayers. As you maintain an attitude of faith and expectancy, God will bring His absolute best to you!
So to every single person far and wide…I wish you a very HAPPY Valentine’s Day. You may not be with your special someone today, but you have much love to give AND receive during the waiting season.
If you’ve enjoyed this article, I’d love to hear from you! Email your comments to mica@micaolinghouse.co.
Also, if you need prayer or would like to receive a Bible free of charge, please let me know. Our ministry, New Life Metro Ministries International, would love to pray for you and send you a Bible!
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